I am a publisher writer which is astounding and I am deeply grateful. This is the link to my Amazon page: amazon.com/author/conorhcarton
I am diabetic. Type II. It is an appalling thief of physical and mental energy. What I have found interesting, as a individual and a writer is not the fact itself but the mechanics of denial that have been associated with it. I want my stories to engage my readers, to pull them into the story by having plots and cast that will intrigue them. To this end I try to imagine responses to different situations, some of which I know from experience, some I just have to invent and hope are plausible. I had always thought of denial, the refusal to accept a fact apparent to everyone else, to be a blanket sort of response. In my response to sugar brain I have been surprised to find how subtle and insidious it can be.
I never claimed not to be diabetic, I simply refused to take it seriously, I know I have has high blood sugar levels for years, my body functions in that way. So when I got the official word, which I got at first as a result of a blood test for something else, I simply parked it part of my existence. I did take my tablets and adjust my diet a bit-it was never a sugar heavy diet at any point, I did stop drinking fruit juice. This continued for a few years, I would get a check up, take a course of tablets and continue. Clearly I was not in denial, I was saying I had diabetes.
Having slid slowly into a period of sugar zombification I went for a check up again, got the usual results and medication and started to come out of it. Suddenly I had a revelation, sparked by nothing except having a day when I was awake and functioning all the time, that I was in a state of very effective denial about sugar brain. I was saying I had diabetes not that I am a diabetic. The loss I had incurred from sugar brain became clear, the subtle mechanics of denial were revealed. I was really surprised at the clever construction I had st up to avoid engaging with the problem.
Some advice for writing I had seen suggests tat you should write about what you know. I like to write about things no one knows, science fiction with a fantasy element, fantasy with a science fiction framework. I want my plot mechanics and cast to be as engaging as my denial about sugar brain. Writing, finding and engaging an audience of readers is really hard work, it needs a lot of energy and focus. I have to be both committed and have the mental resources to deliver on that commitment. Sugar brain robs me of those resources while denial allows me slide on the facing the facts. A very toxic combination.
I am at the start of what I hope will be a long and productive writing career, I have one book of a trilogy published and the second is under construction. Which is a problem. With sugar brain being actively managed I have mental and physical resources and I also have a demanding job and a family. To make myself happy at work and maintain my best chances for remaining employed I need to be very involved at in my work. This is satisfying and resource consuming. I want to be engaged fully with my family, make sure that they are getting my time and attention. This leaves me little time for actually sitting and writing. When I do sit down I spent time doing writing like this, which I consider to be vitally important, rather than story building. No one else is going to build my stories for me and my audience is built on my stories. All of which sounds like whining about having won the lottery. I am very grateful for everything, I have had a significant birthday recently and am very happy to say that the big story of my life is happiness, laughter, love and fulfillment. I am trying to understand a writers life and get myself organised to effectively accommodate it along with everything else. It demands a degree of focus that I had not really understood and I hope to train myself to accomplish.
I never claimed not to be diabetic, I simply refused to take it seriously, I know I have has high blood sugar levels for years, my body functions in that way. So when I got the official word, which I got at first as a result of a blood test for something else, I simply parked it part of my existence. I did take my tablets and adjust my diet a bit-it was never a sugar heavy diet at any point, I did stop drinking fruit juice. This continued for a few years, I would get a check up, take a course of tablets and continue. Clearly I was not in denial, I was saying I had diabetes.
Having slid slowly into a period of sugar zombification I went for a check up again, got the usual results and medication and started to come out of it. Suddenly I had a revelation, sparked by nothing except having a day when I was awake and functioning all the time, that I was in a state of very effective denial about sugar brain. I was saying I had diabetes not that I am a diabetic. The loss I had incurred from sugar brain became clear, the subtle mechanics of denial were revealed. I was really surprised at the clever construction I had st up to avoid engaging with the problem.
Some advice for writing I had seen suggests tat you should write about what you know. I like to write about things no one knows, science fiction with a fantasy element, fantasy with a science fiction framework. I want my plot mechanics and cast to be as engaging as my denial about sugar brain. Writing, finding and engaging an audience of readers is really hard work, it needs a lot of energy and focus. I have to be both committed and have the mental resources to deliver on that commitment. Sugar brain robs me of those resources while denial allows me slide on the facing the facts. A very toxic combination.
I am at the start of what I hope will be a long and productive writing career, I have one book of a trilogy published and the second is under construction. Which is a problem. With sugar brain being actively managed I have mental and physical resources and I also have a demanding job and a family. To make myself happy at work and maintain my best chances for remaining employed I need to be very involved at in my work. This is satisfying and resource consuming. I want to be engaged fully with my family, make sure that they are getting my time and attention. This leaves me little time for actually sitting and writing. When I do sit down I spent time doing writing like this, which I consider to be vitally important, rather than story building. No one else is going to build my stories for me and my audience is built on my stories. All of which sounds like whining about having won the lottery. I am very grateful for everything, I have had a significant birthday recently and am very happy to say that the big story of my life is happiness, laughter, love and fulfillment. I am trying to understand a writers life and get myself organised to effectively accommodate it along with everything else. It demands a degree of focus that I had not really understood and I hope to train myself to accomplish.
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